fringe
adjective
Not part of the mainstream; unconventional, peripheral, or extreme
I’ve been thinking a lot about how who I am relates to the major activities in my life.
I am not a mainstream gal. I’m not a radical either. But I do make choices that flit around the fringe. I won’t make a laundry list, but the following are some of the highlights.
I haven’t practiced in any organized religion since I was 14. I do have beliefs and theories and hone my spirituality in much the same way as most people, but I can’t say “I am ______!”
I eat as thoughtfully as I can, but do not adhere to any kind of vegetarianism or only local/homemade food. I know a lot about food, where it comes from, what it does for your body, but I am not an expert for anyone but me.
When creating new pieces for my work, I don’t follow trends, but I don’t eschew them entirely. I am a business woman, but some aspects and traits of business behavior make me uncomfortable and I find them difficult to watch in others. I back away to the fringe. I create from the fringe and do business from the fringe. Is that to my detriment? It’s hard to say…
Choosing a conventional home and locale for my kids and a conventional religion for them to study has proven interesting for me. While I participate in school activities and gatherings for the temple, helping my boys to become who they will be, I am reminded that I do not always belong. I am on the fringe of these places and people and conventions, but I want my boys to learn convention before they decide whether to embrace or reject it.
There are days when I want Santa Claus and Sunday School and Ring Dings and a more business-y business. I yearn for convention, because it just seems easier and simpler. But it’s not me. And it’s not easy or simple. I see my friends’ lives and they would laugh if I asked if their lives were simple.
So, I guess I just hang out here on the fringe and know that it’s the right choice for me.
![om [one moment] meet up](http://i748.photobucket.com/albums/xx125/alamodestuff/OM_alamodemeetupbutton.jpg)
OM is *one moment* and is a meetup designed to notice & relish a moment in everyday life. The meetup idea was created by Linda at her blog, a la mode stuff.If you’d like to participate in OM, just click the button and you’ll be taken to Linda’s post explaining it all.
I am right with you out on the fringe! I admire you for letting the boys see some organized religion, we never got around to that and I worry that in college they’ll be attracted to some sort of cult because they didn’t have anything mainstream.
On the technical side of things, I love the last post widget you’ve got set up down below – what plug in did you use?
I completely relate to you. I’ve often thought the same things about myself and our family. At times I was bothered, other times I was totally okay with dangling on the fringe.
I’m now completely content because as the boys get older, I see them making wise, thoughtful decisions. Our family debates and studies often finding our conclusions are not necessarily mainstream.
As for religion, I’ve always wanted the boys to learn about all and make informed choices for themselves. This is something I had to fight for and do on my own. It was a personal struggle for many years as I matured. It is so rewarding for me to see the boys have the freedom and support from us to choose for themselves. There were times when I felt like we were the only family in our community who didn’t go to a church (maybe we are).
As for business and my own personal observances of being on the fringe, I’ve finally gotten to the point that I don’t question whether I’m on it or not. I’m happy to even be near the fringe. It’s who I am and I’m ok with that. It took lots of consideration, like you are doing, for me to get here. I wish (and still might) make a list of things as you did. I think writing them out is very helpful and cathartic.
Cyn, sorry for my rant. Your post is wonderful.
Hi Cyn, this really is a wonderful post. I am so happy to have read it and Candy and Linda’s comments too. I can totally relate. In reference to religion, my husband and I don’t adhere to any formal religion either. My boys are young and I worry at times that we should offer them spirituality but, I am unsure of how to go about it. I feel like we are the only ones not going to church as well. But, I can’t bring myself to do it. As they get older maybe showing them a few different paths is what we’ll do – I don’t know. I also love how you spoke of what you eat and how you are not an expert for anyone but me. That sums me and my relationship to food and learning more about it perfectly! Thanks for a inspirational read. It helped me feel like I’m not alone on the fringe!
This is a fantastic post! I, too, feel I live on the fringe. With the exception of the family I grew up with and the family Pete and I are growing, I’ve never fit in anywhere. As I get older, I’ve become more comfortable in my skin. (Though there are days when it find it frustrating).
Growing up, my mom never cared or worried about what other families were doing. She did what was best for her family. That was a tremendous gift. I hope to do the same for my family.
As for religion. It’s difficult not having a label for myself. I’ve become more comfortable with my areligious status and more willing to “admit” it. That’s a sad statement when I read it out loud, but a reality in our society.
I live life as a square peg. It’s who I am!