This is my last post for 44 x 44, ’cause I’m calling it early.
If you’re reading this for the first time, you can reference what this is about here. I have mixed feelings about the whole process.
I wouldn’t qualify it as a success or a failure. I’m disappointed, but not because I haven’t reached my goal. The goal was never the point. It would have been a nice bonus and it would have meant that I had finally conquered my real foe… stress eating.
There will always be stress and I can reasonably handle the everyday stress of life. My issue lies with the BIG stress moments in life. It becomes a cycle for me: big life stress = eating = less sleep = no time for exercise = more eating. I’ve identified this. I KNOW this, and yet, I cannot conquer it. I may never be able to defeat this behavior. I am not a person who likes to resign herself to anything, but I may have to find a way to accept this behavior as part of me to let it go.
Let’s examine the sunny side of things, shall we? I eat healthy almost all the time, mostly organic, fresh, local foods that make me feel great. When there is no stress, I keep active on most days. I can run three miles at a clip; I can play a game of tennis without huffing and puffing; I can swim 1/4 mile; I can play with my kids; I can walk/run with my dog in rugged terrain. These are all signs of a healthy human.
So, my little countdown counter in the sidebar will be going away this week. Maybe I’ll replace it with something that focuses on health instead of numbers. I really won’t miss it at all.
The outcome for 44 x 44 is not what I wanted and I wish it were different. But wishing for this to change may be like wishing to win the lottery: a long shot that keeps my focus on a fantasy instead of the reality of what’s important.
Cyn, I totally hear you! Stress = eating. Story of my life! And of course, not eating well causes stress which causes….AAAHHHHH!
Perhaps what we both need to do is focus on keeping stress to a minimum (so hard especially when it’s NOT within our control – like your Dad’s health!) Sigh!
You made the effort. That is more than most people ever do. Sometimes these things just need to be tweaked a bit to better fit your life.
As I read this, the thing that pops into my mind is moderation. I think you have a strong hold on moderation, which I believe is the healthiest lifestyle choice of all. Your life will always have ups and downs, stressful days and lazy days. Perfection and numbers are daunting and stressful in themselves. Instead, I wish you a joyful, balanced life in your next 44 years 🙂