Passover begins Monday and I’m thankful this year to be attending someone else’s Seder.
The post below was written last year amidst planning my first Seder at home. It’s interesting to read it from my perspective now. The stress that poor girl (me!) was under feels palpable. Now I’m all “la-dee-da-dee” and relaxed.
The process of developing our religiousness as a family is far from over. We haven’t jumped into our temple with both feet yet, as my younger son will not abide a sermon. He has ended up on the sanctuary floor in loud protest. No amount of promises or threats ever thwart his resolve. That will change with time and then we will be spending much more time there as a whole family.
For now, I leave you with the Blue Collar Shiksa.
It seemed simple when I agreed to raise my children as Jews, many moons ago before marriage. And now I frequently think, “What have I gotten myself into?”
I grew up as a Methodist. My father was Presbyterian and my mother an ex-Catholic. I believe they settled on the Methodist church because we lived in a very small town in Wisconsin and the choices were limited. It was all Sunday school and potluck to me and a nice community of people. I had my Confirmation at a different church in a different state with a different state of mind. Organized religion was not for me. I felt I could be spiritual and a kind person figuring things out on my own. So, I finished Confirmation and left the church. My mom still asks me if I pray…
Fast forward to post-engagement/pre-wedding discussion of religion. Obviously, my husband is Jewish and felt strongly about raising his children as Jews. “Let’s do it!” I said. I felt my future children should have some knowledge about religion, Jewish or not, and I could learn along the way too. My mother-in-law took me to lunch and essentially asked me if I knew what I was getting myself into. Of course! “Yeah, right,” was what I’m sure she thought then and definitely what I think now.
I am an island in a sea of Jews. That sounds dramatic, but it’s not. I enjoy the culture and do enjoy learning as I go. Our family of four celebrates some of the Christian holidays in a non-religious way with my side of the family. It’s a way to connect to my traditions without infringing on our religious choice as a family. My 6-year-old asks as if he already knows the answer, “You’re Christian, right mommy?” And I always answer, “Sort of… I grew up as a Christian.” He takes that answer and runs with it, which is fine for now.
The struggle comes from being the only female in the Jewish family now. My mother-in-law passed away two years ago and it became obvious right away who held it all together. Now all these capable men and boys look to me for the big events. Are you kidding me? I know so little, but it comes down to who can cook. And yeah, that’s me.
It’s Passover on Thursday and I’ve made brisket and homemade chicken stock for the matzah ball soup. I’m making lists of what goes on the Seder Plate and shopping at the market to buy a shank bone. You may be wondering, where is your husband in all this? His job is in its busiest time right now – he is working 12-hour days and his free time is spent with our boys. I just can’t complain about him doing what he needs to do. BUT he will owe me… oh yes, he will 🙂
Many things to make and do before Thursday. I’m sure this will not be the last about this topic, but as I’m the line leader for this holiday, gotta get to it. Happy Passover!
