44 x 44 – #@$%&*!

click image for creditI have inner turmoil.

But before I get to that, I should recap what 44 x 44 means. At the beginning of 2010, I decided to pursue losing 44 pounds by my 44th birthday on August 24. I was feeling good and, more importantly, ready to shed the excess weight I’d been putting on since meeting my husband (yes, it’s all YOUR fault, Honey [love you!])

I’ve been stuck for weeks at the same weight. It’s not a mystery… I don’t work out enough. This body I’m lucky enough to have is one that needs daily, intense physical activity. And the older I get, the more true that becomes. This body also suffers from Crohn’s Disease and that’s a curve ball I’ve had to accept. This body also needs to care for her young boys, move forward in her one-woman business, create & manage schedules, do housework, organize clutter, get enough rest, tend to the dog, prepare meals and shuttle the little people where they need to be.

So, the inner turmoil? I truly need to let it go. If I want to make 44 x 44 a priority, then that’s what I should do. Stop lamenting the fact that I’m busy and “how am I ever going to get it done?” This body is just waiting for my mind to get out of the way.

4 Responses to 44 x 44 – #@$%&*!

  1. I wish you all the best with your endeavors and know that if you put your full heart into it it can be achieved. 🙂

    It’s so easy sometimes to say that we are too busy, and then a month later wonder why something hasn’t gotten done or achieved, I have that problem too. Things fall by the wayside and we wonder why and how to pick them back up again.

    Good luck, Cyn!

  2. agh, it’s so hard! it just really is, to balance everything we need to do. i wish i had words of encouragement, other than, “i totally know how you feel” and “you can do it!” it sounds like you are totally on the right track, and this post has some good thoughts. i think you are fabulous, no matter what you weigh 🙂

  3. What Laura said… Also, excuses are such villainous creatures. I haven’t figured out how best to avoid them. I do know you deserve to feel healthy and confident. It’s a slow process and I’m sure it will happen.

  4. Thanks so much, my friends! Your words are always encouraging and I can feel the LOVE 🙂

    It is hard. And the more I come to accept that this will be a lifetime challenge, the more at peace I can be with wherever I am with it. Zen, but true.

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44 x 44

click photo for creditWhat is the significance of 44? Barack Obama is our 44th president. Hank Aaron was the first to wear the number 44. And me? I’m going to try and lose 44lbs. by my 44th birthday.

I’ve always been up and down with weight. Back and forth. Round and round. But I had arrived at a place in my life where I was pretty happy with how I looked.

I’m still at that place, but I am reaching middle-age. Or at least I hope I am and this is why I am going for 44 x 44. One of my life goals is to have an intellectual conversation with at least one of my grandchildren. My boys are 7 and 4 right now. I gots a LONG way to go. To get there, I need to give my joints, my heart and my back the best chance of longevity.

With the exception of my 20s, I’ve only lost weight by doing it in a healthful way. I actually know quite a bit about how to be healthy. It’s the implementation that I struggle with… I overeat when I’m stressed. These last few years really have been full of triggers. And yup, I’ve pulled them all! If I’m mindful of what I eat and I exercise more, I am confident that I will be successful. Do I have to lose all 44 lbs.? Absolutely not. I just need commitment and accountability.

I’ve setup a countdown to the right and will be logging pounds lost and workout hours. I’ll post here every Wednesday about my journey. Wish me luck!

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