Best of Scout ::: Tongues are not for Wagging

::: Originally published June 2009



Ahhhrghgg. BOY am I tired. I must rest just a little. Today, and today only I will shorten my nap to a mere 11 hours. I am busy and I have things to do. I am tired because I went swimming in the river with Shoes. It was good to see him out there for a change. Lately, he’s been cooking a lot. I think that’s what they call it. That is one process which baffles me. They take stuff which smells pretty good to start with, and then they add all this other stuff to it, heat it and take it to a whole other room. So complicated, so complex.

That’s just one of the many things that A-Dog and Shoes make so much more involved than they need to be. Grooming is another. The shower, the bath, the soap the brushing. I pity them their teensy tongues that can barely reach beyond their lips. And the tongue is so useful: greeting, eating, licking, cleaning (self), cleaning (others), cleaning (floor). It keeps you cool, it helps you drool. I can drink with it or clean stink with it. The one thing I DON’T use it for seems to be the only thing they DO use it for: Talking. They use it to create all these different sounds… again too much, too complex. I read on the Internet that one of their languages, English, has passed a million words. I know words as you’ve read here, but I only need enough words to express three thoughts:

1. I’m hungry
2. Pet me
3. May I smell your behind?

After that, it’s all just commentary.
Now, about that nap…