{"id":2740,"date":"2010-08-11T08:31:29","date_gmt":"2010-08-11T12:31:29","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/cynthomas.com\/photocardblog\/?p=2740"},"modified":"2010-08-11T08:31:29","modified_gmt":"2010-08-11T12:31:29","slug":"x-calling","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/cynthomas.com\/journal\/x-calling\/","title":{"rendered":"44 x 44 :: Calling It"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>This is my last post for 44 x 44, ’cause I’m calling it early.
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\nIf you’re reading this for the first time, you can reference what this is about here<\/a>. I have mixed feelings about the whole process.
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\nI wouldn’t qualify it as a success or a failure. I’m disappointed, but not because I haven’t reached my goal. The goal was never the point. It would have been a nice bonus and<\/strong> it would have meant that I had finally conquered my real foe… stress eating.
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\nThere will always be stress and I can reasonably handle the everyday stress of life. My issue lies with the BIG stress moments in life. It becomes a cycle for me: big life stress = eating = less sleep = no time for exercise = more eating. I’ve identified this. I KNOW this, and yet, I cannot conquer it. I may never be able to defeat this behavior. I am not a person who likes to resign herself to anything, but I may have to find a way to accept this behavior as part of me to let it go.
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\nLet’s examine the sunny side of things, shall we? I eat healthy almost all the time, mostly organic, fresh, local foods that make me feel great. When there is no stress, I keep active on most days. I can run three miles at a clip; I can play a game of tennis without huffing and puffing; I can swim 1\/4 mile; I can play with my kids; I can walk\/run with my dog in rugged terrain. These are all signs of a healthy human.
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\nSo, my little countdown counter in the sidebar will be going away this week. Maybe I’ll replace it with something that focuses on health instead of numbers. I really won’t miss it at all.
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\nThe outcome for 44 x 44 is not what I wanted and I wish it were different. But wishing for this to change may be like wishing to win the lottery: a long shot that keeps my focus on a fantasy instead of the reality of what’s important.
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